Don't Be a Stress Monkey | Book Cover

Don't Be a Stress Monkey | Chapter 7: The Invisible Stress Monkeys

 

Chapter 7: The Invisible Stress Monkeys

Ever felt stressed but couldn’t pinpoint why? Like a nagging feeling that you can’t quite shake off, even when things are seemingly calm? That, my friend, is the work of the invisible stress monkey. It’s the sneaky little primate that hangs out in the shadows of your mind, whispering doubts and fueling anxieties you might not even realize you have.

The Power of the Past

Think of your past experiences as a tapestry woven with threads of joy, sadness, fear, and triumph. Each thread contributes to the overall pattern of your life. While some threads might seem faded, they are still part of the fabric, influencing how you perceive the present.
For instance, imagine a childhood where you were constantly praised for your academic achievements. This might lead to an unconscious belief that your worth is tied to your accomplishments. Now, fast forward to adulthood. You might find yourself feeling stressed and anxious when facing a challenging task at work, because a part of you believes that failing means you’re not valuable.
Unresolved past experiences, even if they seem insignificant, can cast long shadows. Whether it’s a difficult relationship, a traumatic event, or even just a period of prolonged stress, these experiences can leave behind invisible scars that trigger our stress response in unexpected ways.

Unconscious Beliefs: The Whispers of Your Mind

Our minds are like vast libraries filled with beliefs, both conscious and unconscious. These beliefs shape our perceptions, reactions, and even our choices. Some beliefs are helpful, but others can be downright stress-inducing.
Imagine a belief like “I’m not good enough.” This can fuel self-doubt, leading to procrastination, perfectionism, and a constant pressure to prove yourself. Or, consider the belief "I must always be in control." This can lead to obsessive planning, a fear of failure, and an inability to relax.

Stressful Patterns: The Monkey’s Playground

Our daily routines, habits, and even our thought patterns can become stress amplifiers. Think of these patterns as the monkey’s playground, where it thrives and grows stronger.
For example, constantly checking email can create a feeling of urgency and anxiety. Procrastinating on important tasks can lead to last-minute panic. And negative self-talk can trigger stress hormones, making it difficult to think clearly and act confidently.
These patterns can be so ingrained that we barely notice them. The trick is to become aware of them, recognize their impact on your stress levels, and find ways to break free.

Beyond the Surface

The invisible stress monkey can be a master of disguise, hiding in plain sight. It's often those small, seemingly insignificant things that trigger our stress response. It might be the way we talk to ourselves, the way we react to criticism, or the way we handle conflict.
Becoming aware of these invisible triggers is the first step towards managing stress. The next step is to actively challenge those unconscious beliefs and rewrite the script of your inner narrative.

Closing Thoughts: The Stress Monkey's Banana Break

By understanding the invisible stressors that contribute to our stress, we can take back control. It’s time to give the stress monkey a banana break, a moment of peace and quiet.
Here’s a simple exercise to get you started:

  1. Identify Potential Triggers: Take a few minutes to reflect on your daily routine and identify any patterns that might be contributing to your stress.
  2. Challenge Limiting Beliefs: Are there any beliefs that are holding you back? Challenge those beliefs with evidence and a more positive perspective.
  3. Embrace Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques to become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. This will help you to notice stress triggers as they arise.

By acknowledging the invisible stress monkeys, we can take control of our responses and create a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

Try this exercise

This exercise will help you identify the sneaky little stress monkeys that might be lurking in your mind, ready to cause some chaos. You'll gain a better understanding of the things that might be tripping you up and causing you to feel stressed, even when things seem calm.

Instructions:

  1. Think Back: Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Think about a time you felt stressed recently. It could be a big event, like a presentation, or something smaller, like a difficult conversation.
  2. What Happened? What was going on in your mind? What were you thinking about? What feelings did you have? Write those down in the space below.
  3. Hidden Beliefs: Now, think about what beliefs might have been contributing to your stress. Were you worried about what others thought? Were you feeling pressure to perform? Did you doubt your abilities? Write down a few of these beliefs.
  4. Unmasking Patterns: Were there any patterns or habits you noticed that might have been making your stress worse? For example, were you constantly checking your phone? Were you putting off tasks? Did you engage in negative self-talk? Write these down too.

Reflection:

  • What were the things you were thinking and feeling?
  • What beliefs might have been influencing your stress?
  • What patterns or habits were you noticing?

This exercise is a starting point for understanding your invisible stress monkeys. Keep a journal to note your thoughts and feelings when you feel stressed. The more you pay attention, the better you'll get at identifying and managing these triggers. Remember, you're not alone. We all have stress monkeys, and with a little bit of awareness and practice, we can learn to tame them.