Chapter 6: Spotting Your Stress Triggers

Ever feel like you’ve got a monkey on your back, but you can’t quite figure out what’s making it climb? That’s the tricky thing about stress – it can feel like a constant companion, but sometimes it's hard to pinpoint the root cause.
This chapter is all about learning how to spot those sneaky stress triggers before they send your monkey into overdrive. We’re going to explore the common culprits, learn how to recognize the signs of stress, and equip you with the tools to start taking control.

Don't Let That Monkey Lead the Way

Imagine your stress monkey is like a tiny, mischievous creature. You might be going about your day, feeling fine, when suddenly, bam! The monkey throws a banana peel underfoot, making you trip!
That banana peel? That's your stress trigger. It's the thing that sets off your stress response, making you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or even physically tense.
The good news is that once you know what those banana peels are, you can start to avoid them or prepare for their arrival.

Taking Stock: Your Personal Stress Inventory

The first step in conquering your stress monkey is taking stock of what’s in its backpack. That’s where self-assessment comes in. There are some great tools out there to help you identify your personal stress triggers, and many are free or easily accessible online.
Here are a few to get you started:

• Stress Inventory: These are questionnaires that ask about your typical stressors – work, relationships, finances, and so on. They can help you identify the areas of your life that are contributing the most to your stress.
• Stress Diary: This is a simple journal where you track your stress levels throughout the day. Record what’s happening, how you feel, and what you think might be causing those feelings. This helps you find patterns and identify potential triggers.
• Mindfulness Meditations: Guided meditations, especially those focused on body awareness, can help you hone in on the physical sensations associated with stress. You might notice a tightness in your chest, a racing heart, or even a headache when stress is present.

Common Stress Triggers: The Usual Suspects

Now that you have some tools for digging deep, let’s look at some of the most common stress triggers that we all encounter in our daily lives.

• Work: Deadlines, demanding bosses, challenging coworkers, and a never-ending pile of emails can all contribute to workplace stress.
• Relationships: Conflict, communication breakdowns, and changes within your family or social circles can turn up the stress dial.
• Finances: Money worries, debt, and financial instability can be a major source of stress.
• Health: Illness, injuries, and concerns about your physical or mental health can also be huge triggers.

Recognizing the Signs: When the Monkey’s Gone Wild

It’s important to remember, everyone experiences stress differently. For some, it might manifest as physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, or sleep difficulties. For others, it might show up as emotional changes, like irritability, anxiety, or anger.

• Physical Signs:
• Headaches
• Upset stomach
• Muscle tension
• Fatigue
• Changes in appetite
• Sleep disturbances
• Increased heart rate
• Difficulty breathing
• Emotional Signs:
• Irritability
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Difficulty concentrating
• Social withdrawal
• Loss of motivation
• Anger or aggression

The Next Step: Take a Peek Inside

Once you understand the common triggers and recognize the signs of stress in yourself, you’re ready to start taking a peek inside your own stress monkey’s backpack.

• Use your self-assessment tools. Take a stress inventory, start a diary, or explore mindfulness meditations to start identifying your personal triggers.
• Pay attention to your body and emotions. Notice those physical sensations and emotional changes we discussed. Are there certain situations or people that seem to trigger those feelings?
• Don’t be afraid to talk to someone. A therapist or counselor can offer guidance and support as you learn to manage your stress.

The Takeaway

Spotting your stress triggers is like being a detective – you’re gathering clues and piecing together the puzzle. It’s an ongoing process, and that’s OK. The more you learn about your monkey’s habits, the better you’ll be at managing the situations that cause it to go wild.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Just take a deep breath, start paying attention, and let’s tame those monkeys together.

Try this exercise

In this chapter, we've explored the importance of identifying your stress triggers – those sneaky little banana peels that set your stress monkey into overdrive. Now it's time to put that knowledge into action with a simple yet powerful exercise.
Here's what you'll do:

1. Grab a notebook and pen. This will be your stress detective's toolkit.
2. Think back to the past week. As you recall each day, jot down any moments that made you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or anxious.
3. Describe the situation. What happened? Who were you with? Where were you? What were you thinking or feeling?
4. Look for patterns. Do you notice any recurring themes or triggers? Are certain people, places, or activities more likely to make you feel stressed?
5. Consider the “why.” Why do you think these situations or events trigger stress? What might be the underlying cause?

Example:

Imagine you're at work, trying to meet a tight deadline. You feel your heart racing, your stomach churning, and your mind racing with thoughts like "I'm going to fail!"
In your notebook, you might write:

• Situation: "I was at work, trying to finish a project by the end of the day."
• People: "My boss kept checking in, and I felt like I was letting everyone down."
• Place: "I was in my office, surrounded by piles of paperwork."
• Feelings: "I felt overwhelmed, anxious, and scared of failing."
• Why: "This project is important to my career, and I feel pressure to succeed."

Reflecting on Your Findings:

Once you’ve completed this exercise, take a moment to reflect on your findings.

• What insights have you gained about your stress triggers?
• What patterns have you noticed?
• What steps can you take to manage these triggers or prepare for them in the future?

Remember, this is just the beginning of your stress management journey. By becoming more aware of your stress monkey's habits, you're taking the first step toward a calmer, more peaceful life.